


Can't move forward...

by NightysWolf



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: After Gralea, Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Verse 1, World of Ruin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 21:53:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17108780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightysWolf/pseuds/NightysWolf
Summary: After returning from Gralea, Cor sends Ignis to Lestallum to support Monica in the coordination there, but Ignis meets someone unexpected...





	Can't move forward...

„Bloody hell!“

Ignis Scientia just couldn’t hold back the curse that slipped past his scarred lips. Since the covenant nothing seemed to work out anymore, but when Ignis was true to himself: Since they had left the crown city nothing worked anymore. For a moment Ignis took a deep breath – his life in Insomnia was so far away by now, a life that nearly seemed surreal under the given circumstances. A life that he wouldn’t never have again and a city he would never see with his own eyes again. Once more Ignis had to steel his resolve, that he wasn’t washed away by memories.

After they had lost Noctis to the crystal in Gralea, the three remaining friends had fought their way back from the hangar to one of the control rooms and thankfully, they had been able to contact Aranea Highwind in Tenebrae, who swooped them up alongside with her two comrades she had assigned to them as train drivers. She gave them a lift to Cape Caem, where the three retainers met up with the marshal before Aranea returning to Tenebrae.

Plans there had been made in hurry and Ignis couldn’t blame Cor Leonis for taking him out of the field for the time being… he had lost his vision in Altissia after all and was forced to use a cane to find his way around. In these days Ignis knew he was being a liability on the battlefield and even though this friends had been able to compensate the loss of his vision and in turn even adapted their fighting styles to his, others weren’t this considerate and fast in changing. Ignis couldn’t deny though that – despite the fact that his mind knew that the marshal was right – it had stung being shoved to the side like this. Especially since Cor had to break the three friends apart on top of it.

They needed information but they also needed capable hands to battle the darkness and Gladio as well as Prompto were more than able to hunt down demons and the like and so Cor decided to send Gladio to Meldacio for now and Prompto towards Hammerhead before the latter was lost as an outpost. Ignis knew that neither Gladio nor Prompto wanted to be parted from him, Prompto especially since the young gunslinger knew that Ignis still needed a helping hand and when he had wrapped the tactician in his arms before having to go, he whispered a soft „I’m sorry“, barely audible over his tears.

Ignis remained behind in Cape Caem for a few more days, determined not to let his blindness define him and he began training again, relearning the grips on his daggers until Cor asked him to head out to Lestallum. Monica was there already, building up a coordination center and Cor considered it a good idea to have Ignis there in the first stages since tactics and strategy had been the two things that had been literally forced into Ignis from his earliest childhood on. His expertise would be very welcome. A hunter picked up Ignis at Cape Caem and brought him to Lestallum before returning to Meldacio and there Ignis stood now… in the middle of Lestallums front square, people passing him by, million sounds and smells assaulting his sharp senses and with no idea where to go, Ignis had to admit to himself that he had never felt so alone. Cor had told him, that a contact would pick him up and get him to Monica, but so far nobody had shown up and Ignis didn’t dare to make a step out of fear to get lost or miss his supposed contact.

Bloody hell indeed.

Ignis was about to draw his mobile out of his jacket – a mobile that Prompto had completely switched to voice command on the very first day after the loss of his vision – to call Cor, when he heard fast steps coming towards him in long strides. Ignis moved his head to concentrate on the sounds of the steps over all the other noises, but suddenly someone passed him by and he lost track of them in the crowd. Ignis moved his head again, his useless eyes hidden behind his closed lids to find the steps again, when he suddenly felt a movement at his side and a hand on his shoulder.

Ignis jumped and made step to the side and it took all his willpower not to summon his trusted dagger in the hand that didn’t hold his cane. He moved his head once more to filter any of the sounds the person next to him might be making.

„By the Astrals, Ignis!“ The surprise in the voice of the man was unmistakable. „Since when are you so… Ignis, what happened to you?“

It took Ignis a moment to identify the voice that had been speaking but then he let out a small huff of relief. „Libertus, it’s good to hear your voice,“ he replied and turned his body more towards the direction in which he assumed Libertus was standing. After the fall of Insomnia, Ignis had been sure that all oft he Kingsglaive had died in the crown city and so he had been more than suprised when he had registered Libertus Ostium in Lestallum one evening, when he had walked to the Regalia alone to pick something up. Surprised the tactician had tracked him down and they talked… and suddenly a lot things had made way more sense.

„It’s good to see you too, Ignis,“ Libertus replied with a slight hesitation in his voice and Ignis could feel that he was checked from head to toe and back again. „Monica send me to pick you up and I think I know now why. Come on, let’s go somewhere else, where we can talk without being interrupted and without ears that don’t need to know everything.“ Ignis felt a strong hand on his back and made a step forward and let himself being guided through the streets until Libertus stopped in a wide open area, that was mostly devoid of people. Ignis moved his head to both sides a few times, trying to listen to the sounds and filtering the smells out of the air.

„Are we near the power plant?“ Ignis asked finally.

„Yes, we are,“ Libertus replied a bit surprised. „How did you find out?“

A weak smile passed over Ignis lips, before he angled his body closer to Libertus and his voice. „I can smell the ozone in the air, that is produced when the plant works. I had registered it already before, when I was here with the others, but now the smell is even more prominent – most likely because the plant is working with full power now, unlike before,“ Ignis replied. „And I can hear the sound of the ropeway. The sound here close to the plant is different than outside of the city and I can also hear the transporters slow down before they reach the dock.“

Libertus crossed his arms in front of his chest. „I am seriously impressed,“ the glaive said and Ignis couldn’t help but smile, when he imagined the look on Libertus face. „But what happened Ignis?“

Ignis lowered his head a bit further and away from Libertus, subconsciously hiding the left side with it’s huge scars. „Just an accident, while the covenant with Leviathan.“

Libertus let out a sigh. „Of course,“ he replied and his voice was dripping with sarcasm before he made a step closer to Ignis. Instinctively Ignis wanted to make a step back, get some distance between himself and Libertus when he felt the Glaive coming close but his gut told him to stay put and not give in. „Can you take your glasses off for a moment?“

„Why?“ Ignis asked surprised and he hated himself for the fact that his voice was shaking a bit with fear and uncertainty.

„Just trust me, Ignis. Please,“ Libertus asked softly.

„But don’t tell me, I didn’t warn you.“

Libertus let out a weak and humorless chuckle. „I have seen my fair share of battle scars and in all honesty – nothing could be as worse, than seeing Crowe on that autopsy table.“

For a moment, Ignis halted his movements and not for the first time he wished he could see the others face. Humans were visual creatures and Ignis had spent most of his life learning to read the faces and gestures of other people… but now? All he had left now were his ears, his nose and his fingers.  „My apologies, Libertus,“ he replied softly.

„No, there is no need for you to be sorry,“ Libertus said with a shake of his head. „What happened to you is defining your whole life now and it’s understandable that your focus is different until you have won back a bit of a routine.“

„Indeed,“ Ignis replied softly, before he slowly took the glasses of his nose and lifted his head, that Libertus could see his whole face – all scars included. Ignis could feel the gaze on him and it took a second until he had his breathing back under control. Ignis knew the scars looked bad. He had asked Prompto once to describe them and reluctantly Prompto had told him, outlining them softly with his fingers to give Ignis a better impression in the end. After a few days, Ignis had also started to feel the looks of the other people on him and their whispers behind his back. First in Accordo, before they had left for Niflheim and then in the train that brought them to Gralea. The royal advisor had tried to ignore those looks as good as possible, but the feeling of being watched had made him wary and uncomfortable.

For a moment the gaze of Libertus on him was uncomfortable, but then Ignis felt something change. It was soft, but it was there when Libertus placed a hand on his arm. Comfort, support, acceptance - something he had missed the moment Gladio and Prompto had left Cape Caem. "Well, it's not that bad," Libertus remarked. "I've seen injuries far worse. Believe me or not - it looks good on you in it's own way."

Ignis couldn't help but laugh at this. "Yes, you are right - I don't believe you," he remarked.

"Would I ever lie to you?" Libertus chuckled. "Can you open your eyes?"

"I can," Ignis said hesitating. "But it's difficult and it's kinda disorientating."

Softly Libertus put his other hand on Ignis shoulder. "Not for long, I promise. I only need a moment to check something."

"Alright," the young tactician replied and carefully he opened his eyelids, fighting against the disorientation and confusion that still came with the realization that even with open eyes, he would never be able to see the beauty of the world around him. Ignis tried to stay calm, while he felt a wave of fear rising. It would need time for him to get used to this, even though it had been weeks already since he had sustained this injury. For a moment Ignis could feel Libertus hands hold him tighter and that grounded him to the present, didn't let him slip away into the past and his own fears. Ignis had always considered himself as calm and levelheaded even in the most difficult situations and maybe now was the time to prove this. And with this, Ignis tried to hold himself as steady as possible and then he felt Libertus grab his shoulders a bit tighter even.

"I've seen what I needed to see," Libertus said softly. "You can close your eyes now again." For a moment there was an eerie and uneasy silence between the two men, while Ignis let his eyelids fall shut again and placed the glasses back onto his scared nose, shoving them into place with his middle finger.

"Why did you do it?" Libertus asked suddenly, before he took Ignis at the elbow and signed him with a soft tug, to move and to let himself be led away from the power plant.

"Do what?" Ignis asked, while using his cane and Libertus hand on his arm to find his way forward. Ignis could feel himself be steered over the central plaza, where he and his comrades had often picked up and returned hunting assignments before making their way to the Leville to rest. But Ignis could feel himself being led a bit away from the hotel and then Libertus stopped. The sound of metal against metal told Ignis, that Libertus had pulled some keys out of his clothes and the soft click of a lock was followed by the screetching of a door that needed some oil in it's hinges. Ignis felt himself being lead forward and he heard the door close behind him.

"Just a bit further," Libertus explained.

"Where are we?" Ignis asked carefully while he tried to feel his way forward with his cane.

For a moment there was silence, but then Libertus only said one word. “Home,” he explained softly and led Ignis carefully forward. Ignis tried to orientate himself when the sounds changed from short echoes to wider echos and when he felt his shoes brush over carpet with each step, instead of wood. Libertus stopped Ignis with a tap on his shoulder, before he turned him around by a bit. “The couch is right behind you. Just sit down.”

Ignis tapped backward with the cane, before he let himself fall onto the cushions with a weary sigh. The long drive from Caem to Lestallum had worn him down, wether he liked it or not and having to concentrate onto his other senses to compensate his missing sight, did only add to the exhaustion. The blind tactician heard the Kingsglaive sit and decided to voice his former inquiry again. “Libertus, may I repeat my question?” Ignis asked. “Where are we and what is this place?”

“It’s a former safe house of the Crownsguard,” Ostium replied. “Obviously it was meant as sanctuary for the king and his family in case the Crown City would be attacked. We Kingsglaive didn’t even know it existed, until we ran into Cor shortly after the covenant and Cor offered it to us as a place to stay until we had completed to form our schedules and units. Since then only a few of us have made this our home base - actually at the moment it’s only Dustin, Monica and myself, since the other Kingsglaive are literally living out of their bags since they jump from assignment to assignment and from one haven to another, while others have found housing in Lestallum and Old Lestallum itself and operate from there.”

Ignis nodded slowly. He had placed his elbows on his knees and his head on his folded hands, while he had listened to Libertus without interrupting him. “It will be difficult getting everything coordinated, especially considering how much ground we lost according to Cor.”

Libertus shifted in his seat and let out a sigh. “And it will be getting more and more difficult the shorter the days grow,” he remarked with a huff. “Let me allow to repeat my own question from before though. Why did you do it?”

The young tactician looked up with his eyes tightly shut and his fingers twitched a bit. Deep inside, Ignis had hoped that Libertus had maybe forgotten the question he had asked before, but it seems that his luck had run out on Ignis in that very moment. “Why did I do what exactly?” Ignis asked, trying to evade the question.

“You know quite exactly what I mean,” Libertus replied. “Why did you use the ring of the Lucii? You know better than anyone else, that using this ring doesn’t come without a price.”

Despite having expected this question, Ignis was still thrown off for a moment that Libertus obviously knew exactly what he had done to have lasting injuries like this. “But how?” Ignis asked the glaive in return. “How do you know, that I used the ring?” Ignis heard Libertus move in the room before he felt a finger tap on his hand and a cup of coffee was gently put into his hand.

“Your injuries,” Libertus replied after he had taken a seat himself again. “That’s why I wanted you to take off the glasses and show me your eyes. I had some suspicions but I needed to see these injuries for real, to be sure, because in those few moments I saw Nyx after he had taken on the ring, in these visions and nightmares I had from the day on after the citadel and the crown city fell... he had the same strange pattern of scars, but his were still rough and looked like ash. I know that these scars come from the long and extensive use of magic and there is only one thing that can scar a person this deep in such a short amount of time.”

Ignis grabbed the cup of coffee in his hands a bit tighter, clinging to it like a lifeline and the familiar smell calmed his worried mind. The hand of the king needed a moment to sort his thoughts, because what could he tell Libertus, what did the glaive eventually know already? Ignis took a sip of the coffee, before taking a deep breath. “I didn’t have a choice. Taking on the ring seemed to be the only solution in that very moment. The chancellor of Niflheim was threatening to kill the prince and the only way out was the ring, that Noctis lost and that was lying in front of me.” Ignis stopped for a second and took a deep breath to keep himself from slipping into the memories he didn’t want to go through again. “I broke free from the Magiteks which were keeping me restrained and took up the ring and after that there is nothing else but pain, flashes of blue and then nothingness - only the long and endless darkness.”

For a moment there was an uneasy and cold silence in the room and Ignis wanted nothing else but to flee, to run, to hide.... to be alone with his pain, his memories and his insecurities. Ignis had held up a strong barrier, hadn’t let any of his feelings come to the surface to make it easier for his friends to go on... but that didn’t make him a lifeless machine. Inside he was hurting and afraid, just like any other human being. Over the long years of service in the crown, Ignis had just learned better how to hide what was going on inside him. “I didn’t have a choice,” the advisor repeated.

Ignis stiffened when he felt Libertus hand on his shoulder and the grip he had around the coffee cup got even tighter and for a second Ignis feared that soon the cup would break in his fingers if he didn’t manage to calm himself down. Cold like ice on the outside but hot as fire on the inside, Ignis couldn’t help but sarcastically thinking that he maybe finally started to really live up to his name.

“It’s alright Ignis,” Libertus finally said. “I don’t judge you and can’t blame you, for what you have done. I know the might of the imperial army from my own battle experiences and I talked to refugees from Altissia, when they came here to escape the destruction of their homes. You faced impossible threats but you endured and I know that you aren’t making such rash and extreme decisions lightly.”

For another moment there was an uneasy silence between the two men, before Ignis spoke up again. “Ardyn gave me a choice,” the young tactician said slowly. “Die on the altar with Noct or going with him... I can’t help but questioning myself, what would have happened if I had given in and followed him.”

Libertus shook his head. “No, Ignis - don’t go there and don’t dwell on these thoughts. Looking onto the past, which can not be changed only fills you with bitterness and regret and that is no living at all. Noctis wouldn't want you to think like this and I know it is hard in your condition but you have to look forward. Concentrate on your talents and what you are good at. Make that your foundation now - leave behind the dark thoughts and the past that is haunting you."

Ignis took a careful sip from his cup. "I don't know if I am already able to do this," he replied and Ignis couldn't help it, but he could hear the bitterness in his own voice. "Apologies, Libertus. I know I'm not the best company in this moment."

Libertus snorted. "You should have seen me after the fall of Insomnia. But for now, you need some rest. You had a long travel from Caem to Lestallum and using your other senses all the time must be tiring."

This time Ignis shook his head, drowned the rest of his coffee and got up again. "I have to talk to Monica," he refused.

"No," Libertus replied and took the empty coffee cup out of Ignis hand. "I will get in touch with her, that she comes here when she has time and you will rest until then. Ignis, please - listen to me. It's no use to any of us, if you run yourself dry."

Once again Ignis was shaking his head. "I have no time to rest. There are so many things that need my attention and I can't sit and wait. If I have to wait I might as well pass the time with training."

"And ruin the interior of the living room?" Libertus asked with a chuckle. "There is not really a lot space in here, you know."

Taking a step closer to Ignis, Libertus once more placed his hand on Ignis' shoulder and Ignis flinched. He didn't want to flinch but he couldn't stop himself and he hated it. Not seeing what was coming, having to rely on his other senses... Ignis despised it and the helplessness was choking him like an invisible hand around his neck. Ignis wanted to scream and rant but he knew that it brought him nowhere and finally Ignis sighed. Maybe Libertus was right and a short rest would help him to refocus, would help him to concentrate on the important things again. "Alright," the tactician finally grumbled. "But only only hour."

A chuckle was all, Ignis got as an answer, before he felt Libertus take him by the hand and once again he was lead through the house but the way wasn't far and Ignis heard a door creak and he found himself in a different room once again. "This is one of the guest rooms," Libertus explained, when he lead Ignis a bit forward before he made a step back. For a moment, Ignis was irritated, but then he understood what Libertus tried to do and Ignis was grateful for it. Libertus had given him a hand at the beginning but now he would step back and let Ignis orientate himself. If Ignis wanted to get back on his own feet again, he had to learn and he had to make use of what he had. Taking a deep breath, Ignis brought his cane forward, felt his way around the room to make out the shape of the walls, the placing of the furniture, while listening to the sound of his own steps.

"A small bathroom is attached through the door on your current left," Libertus explained carefully. "As long as you are in Lestallum you will stay in this room. Make yourself comfortable - this is your home now and we are all here to support you. So if you need help, don't hesitate to ask."

For a moment Ignis just stood there, but then he nodded carefully. "Thank you, Libertus.Your help is very much appreciated."

Libertus nodded. "Rest now - the days are getting shorter and shorter. We need your help and your abilities otherwise darkness will fall faster than we want and we have nothing at our hands to stop it."

**Author's Note:**

> The render to this story (https://www.deviantart.com/nightyswolf/art/Can-t-move-forward-743764030) is finished since months already, but I never got around to bring the story itself to a closure until now. It was an idea I had for a while already but yea... time is tight.


End file.
